I was thinking about Mother's Day (yes, it's this Sunday, you knew that) and how there are probably some nice brunches being offered around town that I should look into. And then when I read THIS, I was buckled over laughing in recognition that I really don't want brunch at all. And luckily my kids are older than the author's, so I'm past those throws of chaos, yet I can still appreciate and remember the moment she is in. Her brutal honesty was a fantastic kick in the pants and offers an opportunity for us to ponder, mothers...what do we really wish for on Mother's Day?
Let's get the PC stuff out of the way. I'm grateful. I love my children very much and appreciate the health and happiness and awesomeness of our family. I'm glad I am a mother. Glad I have one. I don't need anything because I am loved, blah blah blah. Onto the bitchy portion... I struggle each year with the internal pull that comes from being a mother and having a mother, so we have to share the day. While my mom's dream is to spend some quality alone time with me and review and reminisce about how she believes this (rapidly aging) human she created is the most fantastical person on Earth, this drives me bat$*it crazy and is exactly how I do not want to spend any moments of my spare time on any given Sunday, let alone Mother's Day. I cannot walk arm in arm with her whispering girlish secrets and cackling in contented laughter. So I save a sliver of family time on Sunday to include my mom and promise myself I won't curse at her (outloud, c'mon we're from Jersey) or roll my eyes (when she's looking at me). I'm definitely saving some time for kiddos- they will scamper around making me cards that very morning and writing what jobs they will do for me to celebrate my big day. If the weather cooperates it would be fun to do a hike or bike ride or family walk together. They want to spend the entire time together, not realizing that we already spend every single day together, mostly driving in carpool circles that give me vertigo.
But then there's the rest of the time that Sunday- this is the preciousness of Mother's Day. Be brave. Take that time and make it your very own. I know seasoned moms that make plans with each other- golf with girlfriends, go on an adventure, go to the spa, walk mindlessly around the mall, get a make-over at Sephora, hide in an empty room and drink some champagne or read a book. Something that your normal mommy days don't ever account for. Take a nap- that'd be crazy! What does the important mother in your life like to do most? Give her the time to go do it.
I need to jump start my "motherly-ness" on Mother's Day and run that day like every other- an organized and productive machine. Don't waste a minute, between this day and one birthday a year we can't be frivolous with our allotted moments. I was thinking of maybe putting together an itinerary that looks something like this for Mother's Day this year:
9am- don't disturb mom until at least 9. Darkness and quiet house prevail
9:15- wake me up with head-pets and soft face tickles. cheek kisses are ok too (pls brush your teeth first)
9:30 -coffee to mom, start cooking her 2 over easy eggs with a side of sausage, and seasonal fresh fruit (blueberries are lovely right now!)
10- family bike ride. tires already topped off with air. I'm sure the sun will be shining.
11:30-3:30 Husband/kids clean the entire house and all laundry while Mommy goes and plays 9 holes of golf w/girlfriends. Perhaps you pack me some snacks and a some wine for the cart.
3:30 Mom and Grandma go for pedicures together while Dad/kids prep for dinner, some kids perhaps plant some flowers in outdoor pots as a fun surprise
5 Mom and Grandma return to clean house, flowers, music, sunshine and smiling family faces. Slow rush for hugs and mother's day cards. A crisp Viognier and cushioned patio chair would really hit the spot.
6 healthy dinner made with family teamwork is enjoyed by all, convo consists of funny stories from kids childhood that we all always enjoy
7:30 everyone that is not a mother cleans up.
8 No gifts necessary, but kid art is always welcomed. Well, I suppose so are spa gift cards or vouchers to get my gross crumb and baseball cleat encrusted car detailed.
9:30 everyone goes to bed early without being asked 28 times.
Well at least this is my own warped dream of a perfect Mother's Day. What's yours?